Transitions and Resettled: Acclimating to the States

Time flies, it has already been a few months back home. Zen settled right in, surprisingly faster than I had foreseen. Our plane landed on the first day of school (on a Friday), but it took the whole next week before she could go to class. It was paperwork, having to register her when my local Driver's license wasn't considered ID and just waiting.

She started late, didn't miss anything, is doing well academically and made some good friends right away. Her homework is minimal in comparison to Taiwan, she joined band and is playing her flute every day. Now she is starting fencing which I hope she will enjoy as much as she thinks she will.

As for myself, finding a job was time-consuming. Writing and rewriting applications and cover letters, it took a month before I had any bites. It was unsettling, being unemployed, like floating in the abyss. Would I teach or not? Should I apply for teaching jobs? I did-reluctantly. Should I try something new?






The Universe wanted me to take a breather after working full time as a single mom in a foreign country for so long, perhaps some part of my soul was tired.  So, of course, I wanted the stability (and paycheck) from working, but I enjoyed the rest as well. Fortunately, a new gym opened up and I joined, going every day was grounding. Taking yoga and spin classes helped me settle into a routine. I also started swimming again.

Date night with myself, Devandra Banhart at the Boulder Theater

At month two, I was hired, but since HQ is in Delhi and the formation of my group in Denver is like a "start-up" all of us new hires began a month later after that. I myself started a week later than them because my international background check took so long. Let's just say working for a multinational IT company based in India, has been interesting. My management is flexible about how we work our hours, we worked from home or left early when the snowstorms come, and we have s decent gym and I'm addicted to rowing.  I have health insurance which was a major worry when I left Taiwan.

Not that health insurance is anything to esteem here. It's free for all CO children at least. My coworkers all agreed that our plan is very good (United Health), but to me, it's contemptible (and still I'm one of the fortunate ones). For the rest of 2019, I chose the plan with a $5000 deductible (less money out of my paycheck.) For 2020 I chose the "Gold Plan" which I think is 85 x 2 USD a month I'm paid bi-monthly). Going to see my primary health care physician is $40 not including meds, an acupuncturist or chiropractor (which I  desperately need) is considered a "specialty" (so are mental health visits) and those are $60. Even seeing an "Urgent Care" clinic if we fell really ill costs $60. The health care system here is so complicated, with deductions, co-payments, premiums, blah, bla, just so needlessly expensive and inefficient. It's shameful. I'm still not 100% confident I quite understand how this is all going to work. I'll call my chiropractor tomorrow.

Getting used to the snow is another aspect to acclimating, and before that was the altitude. The first few times it snowed in early October, I was giddy, it was so pretty and exciting. My childlike glee was abruptly over when I had to scrape ice off my windows the following morning and wait for my car to heat off, shivering in the driver's seat, waiting for the windows to defrost. We have gone sledding with the kiddos, and I've been too strapped for cash to hit the resorts. I plan on being able to make a trip or two to the high country in 2020 before the season ends.

One of the biggest differences, of course, is being around so many white people. They're so tall and everywhere. My nephew goes to preschool in Highlands Ranch, my sister in law is Korean, and in his class picture, he is not just the only Asian, but the only minority as well as the only brunette. Highlands Ranch is in Douglas County, famous for its white males with the national longest lifespan. Recently, before we moved back there was a school shooting at the STEM Highschool, which is creepy every time I pass it. It's all just so alien.

Another major culture shock for us is living with our extended family. We live with my folks and my brother Ed. My other brothers and their family live within a mile radius and their kids are over 3-4x a week, sometimes more. So the house can be boisterous (like when I was growing up) and now we have a teen in the house. I have to listen to parenting advice from my mom on occasion, I help with the dishes, sometimes cook, sometimes babysit. My mom works hard feeding the little ones, taking them to school, my Dad is just as involved.

Our family set up is very Asian. It's fab for my daughter to be with her grandparents, uncles and aunts. She is still not sold on the concept of shepherding her younger cousins though.

The universe is gracious and we found a nearby Taiwanese restaurant whose owners adore speaking with my kid. They give us the Chinese menu and our bill has a lot of freebies. Sometimes, beef noodle soup with whole bokchoy is just the comfort food we crave on a cold winter day.

Halloween, came and went, then Thanksgiving. It was the first time my kid went trick or treating and she came back with a 6 lb bag of candy. Thanksgiving dinner was canceled this year. My mom, my daughter, one of my nephews were really sick. That was kind of a bummer, but if we waited for 11 years, we could wait for one more. So that means that expectations are for Christmas. It is building up to something sublime and meaningful. It will be our first Christmas with family, and in the States in 11 years. There's nothing like a Colorado Christmas, or so I imagine, it's been that long. Regardless, moving back home at the end of summer was perfect timing to see the aspens turn to gold and partake in the best holidays of the year.

Familia Ante Omnia: Holiday in Colorado

While in Yilan I had made a plan of trails I wanted to hike, errands I needed to run,
places we could all take the kids, but I certainly didn't do everything I planned, let
alone see old friends I wanted to see. This trip was shorter than last summer's by
a week, and we spent more time in New Mexico visiting extended family. Nonetheless,
it was priceless to catch up with my family, to put up our feet and rest.

My kid contemplative, Georgetown, CO

Most people, my relatives, friends, neighbors would ask me the same two questions. The
first, was why I liked to live in Taiwan so much, I mean we have been living abroad on
this island for ten years. I told them, it was the high quality of life. I'm not making
enough money to save a nest egg, but the health care system, safety, kind people are
envy worthy (read about Taiwan's path to single payer health care system). In fact,
Taiwan scored #1 by expats for quality of life and #3 for personal happiness.

I was hoping I could get a SIM card, to make catching up with friends easier.
Traveling around Asia, its cheap and convenient to get a SIM card with a local
number and internet at the airport, but in the US this doesn't exist. I read that
Walmart sells T-Mobile's "Tourist Package" but they didn't and whatever I got
wasn't compatible with my unlocked phone. I wasn't able to get a proper refund,
but only its worth as a gift certificate. In hindsight, my Dad was right I didn't
need it, free wifi was everywhere.

So this was the first trip home, where Z was actually wanting to return to Taiwan.
Shocking, but I guess she is growing up and can see that Colorado (and extended
family), America isn't this enchanted Utopia she had thus far believed. The
rose-colored glasses are off, reality is complicated. Perhaps its the pain of grief too,
her cousin who passed, that still stains her perspective. This time around we visited
two cemeteries in two different states.

She missed her friend (who is in her junior high class), she missed her bedroom,
she missed the dogs she missed our cat. It's more simple here in Yilan, maybe
that's what I missed. What I realize, that she doesn't, is we are missing out on being
a part of my nieces and nephews growing up. They are so much younger than her, she
couldn't really appreciate her young cousins.  I, on the other hand, tried to soak up as
many hugs and stolen kisses I could. Of course, they were all about grandma and grandpa.

I also saw how dependent my brothers were on my parents, for childcare, for little
things. As a single mom in a foreign country, I can see from the outside how fortunate
my brothers and their kids are to be so close to each other, to my folks.

My sister-in-laws are fabulous, hardworking, ambitious full time working mothers.
They appreciate all the childcare my folks do. One pays my mom and the other just
took my mom to Mexico for a week (for a much-needed vacation no doubt!)

We arrived on a late Saturday afternoon and the next Sunday had a family BBQ
with all four of my brothers. Since everyone is working, it was only one of two days
we were all together. One brother left the next day for a scuba diving liveaboard off
of Panama for a week, doing reef rehabilitation, and when he returned, he was working
long hours.

Georgetown Train Loop

I was able to have a hike with my youngest brother but spent most of my time with my
two middle brothers.  Fortunately, everyone lives within a 5-mile radius of each other,
which makes dropping off their kids or my folks picking them up from school easy.
Most days the house was full of them laughing, crying and my mom running around at
their beck and call, getting two of them to nap. I am glad to be out of that phase, but
it's sure nice when they are well fed, content and wanting a cuddle.

My second weekend, we took the Bustang from Union Station to Frisco (2x daily $12) to
stay with my fabulous friend Caren. Her daughter is my daughter's age and they got
along like 2 peas in a pod. Tragically, there was a traffic accident on I-70, a young girl
died (her mom was drunk driving) and the highway was closed for hours, we arrived in
Summit County late, but made the best of it with beer and pizza.

The next day Caren took us for a hike at tree line above lake Dillon. It was more like a
graduated walk- which was perfect for our Taiwanese adapted, sea level lungs. I could
totally feel the altitude (in a good way), the thin air on my vocal chords felt noticeably
different, I was getting breathless. We have been gone too long. Before we returned to
Denver, we went for a swim in a freezing lake near their home. Thankfully the fierce sun
was blazing, burning. It was so cold I was afraid to swim to shore, unlike my friend who
did it three times.

Road Trip

Soon after coming down from the mountains, we were packing for a road trip with my Dad
to see his family in New Mexico. On our way to Albuquerque, we ate brunch at Cracker
Barrel (餅乾桶) in Pueblo, which is a kind of road trip tradition and treat for my family.
The food is all country style, Southern, heavy cooking and a chance for my Dad to eat
childhood favorites like his beloved grits. My kid was all over their meatloaf,  mashed
potatoes and gravy and I couldn't get enough of the turnip greens cooked in bacon
drippings. My kid and I love their gift store which has a large nostalgic candy section of
candy from my childhood you just can't find anywhere else. (Same goes for their
traditional handicraft sodas.) American food is so carb heavy and salty, but so good.

My kid shocked my Dad when she told him why they call themselves 'Cracker Barrel',
"Because everyone who eats there is white and fat!"

View from my grandmother's grave

We made a stopover in Santa Fe to see my grandmother's gravestone inside the

National Cemetery. She died last year and was buried there because my grandpa is a
veteran. (He will be buried beside her.) Unlike most of the cemetery, her spot didn't
have a cross because her place is so close to a residential neighborhood and the homeowners
complained. Nonetheless, it was very peaceful, and the pinon was fragrant as soon as we
got out of the car. My grandmother is remembered by her tirelessness, independence,
and straightforward talk. I admire her because she was basically a single mom for 12
years (like me now) while my grandpa was doing eight tours abroad or traveling to
different bases.

Brunch in Pueblo had filled us up until we met my aunt, cousin and uncle at a restaurant in
Albuquerque called, Casa de Benavidez. The food was filling, heavy, and delicious. My aunt
and I washed it down with a margarita. My daughter still wasn't impressed with Mexican
food and by the end of our NM road trip our guts were crying from too much of a good
thing.

My father's younger sister is bearing the brunt of taking care of my grandpa.
His retirement home is a minute away and she is there daily catering to his whims, while
also working. Before I left Colorado, my veteran brother made sure to have me ask my
grandpa three questions, which I did. He answered the two relating to his 21 years of
active service.

Unbeknownst to me, my grandpa was also called Eli and people also call him Ben.
According to my brother, when he was being trained as a Ranger, he was told his grandpa
Eli Benavides was a POW in Northern Africa. His plane went down in enemy territory.
He and his crew (he was a tail gunner) were captured and tortured. Somehow he escaped-
twice- only to be recaptured having failed to free his crewmates, which he refused to
abandon. During this time, the locals were like, "Who is this kid?" and he learned Arabic
and French and eventually with local help he and his friends escaped. Sounds pretty epic
and you can't find any info to back up the story anywhere, because my grandpa was
enlisted in the OSS at that time (which was a secret intelligence gathering department
that preceded the CIA). I've seen tried to find his story in the National Archives
but can't his name or aliases anywhere. His incredible story doesn't end there.

We took my grandpa for a walk around Old Town and then had a BBQ feast at my aunt's. My uncle grilled pineapple, salmon, beef, my aunt had handmade corn tortillas and queso fresco from the Mexican market. It was pretty perfect. We reminisced about recent memories of passed loved ones;  my niece Emma, of my grandma, and shared moments of quiet reflection and moments of laughter.

After a few days in Albuquerque, we were on our way to Roswell, to see my uncle, my dad's childhood home in the hood and of course the UFO Museum where my grandpa's photo is hanging. What we hadn't planned, but was on my bucket list for some time, was to have a swim in the Blue Hole two hours east of Albuquerque and on the historical route 66 in the small town of Santa Rosa.

The Blue Hole was public, so it was free and we changed clothes in the dingy bathroom nearest the pool. When we arrived, there were some girls a few years older than my kid coaxing her to jump. soon she got the nerve to jump from the highest rock. The water was absolutely freezing. This spot is a good place for local divers to take their tests and practice skills, while also having perfect visibility. Yes, I jumped in a couple of times, but its too cold for me and no fish. I was expecting it to be bigger, as wide as it is deep. Still it was worth the detour. Santa Rosa also has several lakes, a Route 66 car museum, and a Billy the Kid Museum. From there we headed south.

In Roswell we went took lunch at a trucker type buffet, serving more "white people food." It had a chocolate fountain and cotton candy machine, so my kid thought it was "fancy." We took a break from Mexican food and were right back to stuffing our faces with mashed potatoes, meatloaf and gravy. I had a slice of pumpkin pie. For my kid and it was perfect.

My grandpa's testimony hanging in the UFO Museum

After lunch, we went to the much anticipated UFO Museum. My kid is an X-Files fan, so she has been looking forward to this, to hearing her great-grandpa's close encounter and seeing his photo in the display. My grandparents used to live in Roswell, my Dad was born there, my grandpa was stationed there working at Walker Airforce Base. His job was to guard weapons and he was on site and involved with the "Roswell UFO Incident" (羅斯威爾飛碟墜毀事件). I first heard about this in my early 20's, my then living grandma told me his story in the car, while my grandpa nodded in agreement. He was still much too scared to talk about it himself. This time around, inside his retirement home, I got the story from the source.

There was an electrical storm, a young rancher, a University student home from Texas found the wreckage on his father's land. There were alien bodies, some were dead, two were still alive, my grandpa described them having this horrible stench. The living ones were murmuring and taken to the base hospital. My grandpa's men detained the young man for a few days, he wouldn't go into details about what they were holding him for.

The UFO museum was interesting. It had displays of different versions of the story as well as the official US government version (high altitude weather balloons). It had a display on the Nazi's flying saucers. Some of it was hokey too. There was a display on aliens in movies, crop circles that sort of thing. What I found interesting was evidence of god-like alien contact with early or primitive cultures; Australian aboriginal rock art, Hopi Kachinas, and a very convincing Mayan glyph.



After the museum, we headed to my Uncle Mike's to catch up. He's a funny guy and it's been a couple of years since I saw him. I wish we had more time to tag along on one of his famous fishing trips, my kid loves fishing. Grandpa was sure to take her trout fishing at least once this trip.


We returned to Albuquerque had coffee and donuts with my relatives, said my goodbyes to my Grandpa who said as I hugged him, " This will  probably be the last time we see each other." I told him he had 10 years left, as he always brags how his father lived to 102 or something. Still, I felt tears welling up and promised to write him more. Then we were back on the road to Santa Fe.

Smiling Sydney and my Dad shooting his camera

We were in Santa Fe specifically to see my good friend Sydney, a jewelry artist and teacher. I met Sydney years ago on the island of Banda Ache, Northern Sumatra (Indonesia) when my kid was 3 or 4. I knew she was one of these incredible people, the moment we met; her life is pretty full of supernatural ups and downs. Based in Kuala Lumpur at the time, we stayed at her upscale, modern condo several times during the many times we traveled to Malaysia (cheapest direct flights from Taipei). What a joy to see her in her beatific home/workshop utterly flourishing in the arty vibe of my ancestors.

My daughter tryon Sydney's handmade specs

It just so happened to be the annual "Indian Market", which is not a very PC name for North America's largest gathering of Native artisans. There were talented street performers galore on every corner, dancers, drummers and we happily gave each of them a couple of bucks. I have never seen, or held in my hand so many expensive, pieces of jewelry before (other than Sydney's). A single piece of jewelry was worth 15,000 USD or more. We had dinner at a food truck down the street from her home, drank beer brewed on site and listened to live jazz.

Sydney's home/art studio

The next morning we said our goodbyes to Sydney while she dug through hidden treasures to gift Z, and then we fed her prairie dog neighbors some leftovers before we hit the road. My daughter didn't know what prairie dogs were, which blows my mind. "Like meercats, just watch out for rattlesnakes."

On the road again

Final Daze
Our last Tuesday, my folks, one sister-in-law, one brother, and all of the little ones went to Georgetown to ride the historical steam train between the former gold mines mines. There was a small train museum, gift shop, we panned for gold and took a mine tour. It was an amsuing half day, all the kiddies passed out in the mini shuttle bus my Dad rented.

Our last night, there was a free concert in the park. The Tom Petty/Stevie Nicks tribute band rocked. I was impressed! I was not expecting the muscicans and singer to be so professional. The park was packed. My brother wanted to go right down in the front of the so speakers so my hearing impaired nephew could feel the vibrations. My nephew was mesmerized.

Next Time

Epic Family Road Trip 2: Colorado

This is a continuation of my previous post about the RV road trip with my family during our summer holiday. (For all the photos click here.)

The Colorado- New Mexico border

 After Ojo Caliente we high-tailed it to Cortez and made camp at sunset. Cortez is located in the "4 Corners" region, near where the states of New Mexico, Arizona, Utah and Colorado meet. Its an area where Native Tribes have reservations, the Ute, Navajo and Apache. We drove near a few of their entrances, empty roads that disappear into the horizon.

Our RV at our campsite in Cortez, CO.

 The grounds of the KOA campground was on a hill overlooking the mountains. I appreciated the different vegetation, the scrubs and sage here it all looked aquatic, like coral in a colorful reef. I could imagine all this landscape underwater, which it once was. What I will never forget from Cortez, besides the delicious Mexican food is the conversation I overheard at the KOA office. My Dad and I were getting some decent coffee for a change (after drinking instant most of the trip) and a few campers were talking loudly with some KOA staff. They were all agreeing that Donald Trump was needed as president to solve the "veteran problem". I about spit my coffee out and spun around in shock. It was too early to pick my chin up off the floor, my sleepy eyes bulged out of my head. I wasn't caffeinated enough to process, was I still dreaming? Is this a nightmare? I was experiencing culture shock, conservative White America at its best. I thought it was an urban myth a creation of the media, but it was true, actual human beings-with brains, truly support Trump. I mean I'm no GOP fan, but come one at least Jeb Bush has experience, and is somewhat more respectful to brown people (thats about it).

The Tree House, Mesa Verde

 We took our time for breakfast and then headed to the archaeological wonder of Mesa Verde National Park. It was the girls first time and we adults have been here before. What was interesting is that the cliff dwellers who lived here were the ancestors of the Pueblo tribe we visited prior outside Taos. My mom and the girls lined up to go down into one of their pits. The tourists were international, we heard Italian, German French. We could still see three stone grinding stones. There were many places we could not crawl around and climb unlike my last visit. Time and tourists, take their toll, the stone is crumbly, most of it was fenced off.

My daughter and mother, Mesa Verde

It was a very short inspection of the cliffs as we didn't have so much time and the park has 600 cliffs dwellings, so it would be impossible to see it all in a day.

The breathtaking San Juan National Forest

 We headed to Montrose. The drive between Cortez and Ouray through the San Juan National Forest was stunning. I was so tired, not having had one decent night's sleep, but the scenery was breathtaking so I put on headphones, listened to Tame Impala's new CD and followed the play between sky and mountain. The highway went along the Las Animas river which unknown to us was at the same time being poisoned my gold mining companies, defiling the whole region. It's a monumental shame (read A Yellow River Runs Through It) of a bigger problem the state of Colorado has to deal with sooner rather than later.

In Montrose my parents wanted yet again more Mexican food. Although I've been pining for decent Mexican food the two and a half years since my last trip, variety is nice. My daughter observed, "The best Mexican food in Taiwan is the worst Mexican food in America", which is true, its hard to imitate without the real ingredients. So my Dad drove to a little hole in the wall Mexican place he and my mom liked. Fortunately for me and Z it was now a Nepalese restaurant called Himalayan Pun Hill Kitchen. My daughter was stoked to have white rice and dumplings. I was happy to have curry, saag, naan, chicken tandoori washed down with a beer shared with my mom. It was totally out of my Dad and brother's comfort zone but they were stuffed. My niece had her first mango lassi, my daughter had a cinnamon lassi I helped her finish. It was nice to be full, satiated without that gross stuffed feeling, Mexican food is so heavy, so much cheese.

Black Canyon Gorge

 With full stomachs we went to the Black Canyon Gorge to see the sunset. We were the only people on the rim, there was no time to walk around, behind schedule we hopped in the RV and headed to our next campground in Gunnison. It was a cold, wooded private campground owned and operated by an elderly Polish immigrant. The whole trip I was asking myself, "Could I live here?" Most of the time the answer was, "Yes!" Yes I could see myself in Northern New Mexico, maybe not Taos or Santa Fe, but definitely somewhere in between, like Espanola, or Abiquiu. As for SW Colorado, I could live in Montrose, Gunnison, Ouray once I accepted the long winters and adopted a winter sports lifestyle. Totally doable.

San Juan National Forest

On the way home from Gunnison we stopped at a goat farm, Bed and Breakfast in Salida and the girls petted some goats. Closer to Denver the highway between Salida and the big city was as you can imagine also first rate, they don't call it Buena Vista for nothing. Yes I could live here too in an earth home or yurt. The seed has been planted, someday soon (2 years?), we will reestablish home base in Colorado.

Goat eyed view of  the Rockies, Salida.