Cordial Interrogations: Most Common Questions Being A Foreigner

North of Tamsui a few days after we first moved to Taiwan

My daughter and I have been in Taiwan for almost 8 years (in July) and we still are asked the accustomed inquiries when we first meet Taiwanese. She and I  moved here when she was 2 1/2 years old. She was still in diapers and I was still nursing.

After a year of living in Taiwan,  Aquarium in Kenting

Most Taiwanese are too polite to ask too personal of questions straight away, perhaps the 3rd encounter or so. There are some businesses in Yilan City that my kid and I will straight up not frequent, despite the good service/food, because we get a full on interrogation every time from the whole staff of a very private line of questions.

Taiwanese are curious of course of foreigners here, its a homogeneous society. Especially in Yilan we are a novelty, compared to a more cosmopolitan place like Tainan. It generally gets old, but I try to answer as graciously as possible. My kid who is less self censored by societal norms will half the time flagrantly ignore their examination.

The most common questions in order of frequency:

1. Is your husband Taiwanese?

Keep in mind they ask this in regards to my kid. I know the natural assumption is I'm married because I have a child.  But they are looking at her green eyes and light hair and are marveled that a Taiwanese person can have such a white kid. I still find it incredulous, because I look more "Taiwanese" than she does. I answer first that I'm not married, which always produces a physical reaction akin to, "Oops." And sometimes depending on the situation I'll offer that her father is American and lives in America, again because they are curious to the biological equation.

2. Why did you come to Taiwan?

I usually say,  "Work" when the answer is infinitely more complicated.  Initially it was about being financially independent, she was old enough to go to preschool at the kindergarten I worked at, and I missed living abroad. If I stayed in Colorado sure I could find a better paying job then Taiwan, but I would never see my kid. Now staying in Taiwan is about my kid's Mandarin and all the social benefits of living here. But if I didn't have her I would of left Taiwan years ago.

One of my more interesting students

3. What do you eat?

People seem surprised (always) that I cook (at all) maybe because they can't or don't and its cheap, convenient to eat out here. Since working in Yilan, I have less time for cooking, less time at home generally between my work, and TRX, ballet, weight lifting classes and my daughter's art, and flute classes, that we do eat out more. I still cook, or I should say I have my daughter cook (its the one house chore she loves) on the weekends when we have time.  We like to experiment with all the dearth of fruits and veggies when they come in season. For example, our pink guava bundt cakes turned out great. It doesn't always though, I also like to experiment with replacing wheat flour with brown rice powder or anything and sometimes the cake is more like a protein bar than dessert. When we first moved here and Z was small I made lots of pasta with whatever I have around. Now I use bean noodles and since she can do spicier, coconut curries.

I also try to cook vegetables I've never seen before. We do have our favorite Taiwanese foods. Some aren't too healthy so they are for twice a year, like sweet bubble tea for her and stinky tofu for both of us. Our go-to eating out meals are beef noodle soup, dumplings and sesame noodles. One a  month we eat at the nicer restaurants in the shopping mall, or Western Food places like Balagov's, Slow Train, Slobber's or Tavola's.

Pink guava cake with dragon fruit frosting

4. Do you go back home to visit?

Its pretty expensive, somehow or other we seem to go back every year and half. The first time was during CNY when Z was 3. Mary the then owner of Sharefun in Tainan (my boss) sponsored Z's ticket, which was a godsend. I think we have been back three times (?). The last time, summer of 2015 I was able to pay from my new job's sign on bonus, the summer before then my folks came here.

Family in New Mexico July 2015

5.Will you live in Taiwan forever?

Lately, I've been answering it depends on who is president. Obviously if its Trump (which I doubt) we would stay here. The plan has been to go back when Z is in 6th grade, so she can skip junior high here and the boring, spirit defeating unbalanced life of academics and tests.

6. Is Taiwan better than the U.S?

Both places have their advantages. Obviously its safer here. The chances of an active shooter in Taiwan is almost nil thankfully. The national health care system is fabulous, we can see the dentist or get acupuncture for a few dollars US. The social safety nets here are more civilized. Taiwan is also a fabulous springboard for travel around Asia, we have always taken advantage to bucket airlines, holiday time and neighboring destinations. On the downside my dating options are nonexistent. Men my age are married with kids and the single foreigners are young and want to play in the ocean of hot Chinese toys. Taiwanese men are too shy and honestly I don't have the time or patience to deal with what I see my Taiwanese female friends deal with, I already have a kid (no offense).

 The US is more comfortable, the food is better, at least I have access to healthy foods, gluten free, high quality  organic food and ancient grains which are rare and or expensive here. I don't have to worry about tainted oil, milk, etc back home. There's more of a variety of exercise, dance and yoga classes State side, although Taipei may a have a few here and there. Of course my oldest friends and family are back home. But for a while now Taiwan has been our homestead.

 

What I don't tell people

What I don't tell people, but all my good friends know is the story of  her father. I have nothing to hide, you can guess what I'll say. Her father and I dated on and off for years, even lived together for some of those. We got pregnant on purpose anticipating marriage and then it all went to crap. I was in grad school in England and he was calling me drunk, sending me scary emails about shooting, blowing things up (he likes to target shoot for fun) and was generally off his rocker, very controlling (I couldn't use email to male friends, or couldn't accept baby gifts from my parents, and he even said I couldn't have a telephone.) I made him the ultimatum to see a counselor (which has done before for years) or end the relationship. I went back to the US 22 weeks pregnant to successfully finish my master's dissertation and unsuccessfully get a restraining order on him (judge said his threats were implicit). It was a scary decision  to allow him in my home to see her, but he and his mom lost interest after she was 5 weeks old. He never paid a penny. He knows where my folks live, my email address hasn't changed; basically its effortless to contact me and not once has he asked about her. I assume he's too cheap and too afraid I'll smack him my legal right to garnish his wages.

Having said that, he's always in our prayers.

The Matters of the Ma-Xi Meeting and Taiwanese Elections

“The US-Taiwan relationship is more complex and far-reaching than most people realize,” said Jeffrey Horwitz, US Department of State.

Presidential candidates Eric Chu (KMT) and Tsai Ing-wen (DPP)

What's up with Taiwan anyways and why does it even matter to the average American far away across the Pacific? First lets clarify one misconception; I found most Americans seem to confuse Taiwan with Thailand. I won't judge them, Taiwan is purposely excluded from international participation in many conferences or formally recognized by the UN. Taiwan is low on the average American's radar, although it shouldn't be. The US regularly sells helicopters, weaponry and training to Taiwan and as Mainland China has about 12,000 missiles pointed at Taiwan, the Taiwanese perception is America will come to their aid if China invades. When this misconception comes up I tell my Taiwanese friends don't bet on it. For now the US will do everything they can do avoid conflict with China, like supporting Japanese militarization and increased navy activity in the South China Sea (but that's another subject).

President Ma turned up the drama button with his last minute announcement that he was having an historic meeting with Xi the leader of China in Singapore three weekends ago. It was extremely upsetting for most Taiwanese. Overseas Taiwanese students made a joint statement opposing the meeting. I was utterly bewildered (and I have the luxury of flying home should the situation get heated).

The local media had a field day; Ma apparently drank too much, but at least he held a press conference (unlike Xi) which obviously was not shown in China. Protesters in Taipei fought with police and chanted, "Ma, don't come back!" Mainland Chinese allowed their citizens to flood DPP [green] party candidate (and most likely future president) Tsai Ing-wen's Facebook page  denounced the meeting, while Chinese [state] newspapers accused her of being narrow minded and selfish.

The timing couldn't be even more suspicious as Ma's [blue] KMT  (Kuomintang) party lost in local  elections last year as well as current polls, to the historically pro-independence DPP (Democratic Progressive Party) party.

Here is the layman's background of Taiwan's political history: Although the KMT fought the communists in 1949, their US backed leader Chiang Kai-shek was another example of a totalitarian who controlled with an iron fist and suppressed local dissent (known as the White Terror Era   under martial law. Democratic reforms only happened after his death in 1975 and democracy wasn't a reality until the first direct presidential election in 1996 (which China responded to by launching some missiles). Unfortunately the last DPP president Chen Shui-bian was jailed for corruption charges which led to Ma's election. He courted mainland China hoping increased economic dependence and trade would soften their military threats and the potential of  an invasion. It boosted Taiwanese business in China, increased Chinese tourism in China and attracted Chinese students to study in Taiwanese universities.  But it also resulted in stagnated wages, lower economic trade with Asian partners and the perception that China is even more adamant on reunification dissipate Ma's butt kissing.

The Sunflower Movement  was key in articulating publicly, the Taiwanese fear of Ma selling out Taiwan to China via the CSSTA (Cross Strait Service Trade Agreement) a non transparent trade agreement , as well as inspire the more violent Umbrella Movement in Hong Kong (read "Today's Hong Kong Tomorrow's Taiwan").

So far,  DPP presidential candidate Tsai Ing-wen, a political professor from Kaohsiung, is leading in the polls. Taiwan's presidential election is this January. My daughter certainly is routing for her, if not for the sole reason that she would be Taiwan's first female president and secondly, that she wouldn't "sell out Taiwan to China". Tsai Ing-wen has gone out of her way to repeat that she would not push for independence but maintain the status quo, although China says quite the opposite.  What is up for debate is the 1992 Consensus, which recognizes ,"One China, Two Principles." Tsai Ing-wen's stance is the 1992 Consensus never happened. She re-framed the whole argument into the Taiwan Consensus back in 2011.

In desperation, the KMT swapped their female presidential candidate ("little chili pepper" Hung Hsiu-chu) as late as October of this year, for Taipei Mayor Eric Chu.   Chu is trying to distance himself from Ma by criticizing his party leader's controversial trade agreement. It hasn't seemed to make much difference in the polls.

Back to my original question: Why does the recent Ma-Xi meeting and upcoming elections even matter to the average American far away across the Pacific? It matters because like it or not Chinese politics influences not only their economy, but the world economy, stability in the Pacific region, as well as climate change which merits our attention. If the yuan's downturn is making waves in Africa, you can be sure its vexing everyone else, such is globalization. Yet a policy of isolationism isn't in anyone's interests, let alone Taiwan's. Even Ma sees the virtue (perhaps a little too late) in increasing trade with partners other than Beijing, like Australia for example.

There's a theory that democratic ideals make the world stable, democracies do not go to war with each other. Democracies in Asia mark as a counter balance to China's influence and agenda of expanding it borders. Taiwan is the glaring example across the straits, modeling to the Chinese people that democracy is possible. If China invades Taiwan, you can be sure that Hawaii, Japan and the Pacific Coast are potentially up for grabs. Unlike American politicians, Chinese authority think long term, they will wait when the timing is right. Not much of the international community has stopped them thus far; every year, inch by inch their contested borders with every country are growing .

We live in extremely interesting times. We in Taiwan are sitting on the edge of our seats, waiting for the January 16 elections, assuming Dr. Tsai Ing-wen will be the new president and somewhat apprehensive to what Beijing's response will be. I'm sure more missiles will be tested, but other than that we wait and see.