Music Teacher Changed Her Tune

Since meeting with the principal, Z's music teacher, homeroom teacher and English teacher (translator), I have to exhale a massive sigh of relief that all is well. Progress and resolution happened. It required tears and not anger. My daughter has had 2 music classes since and music teacher has been cordial, talking to her with a "normal" tone, so I am grateful she did have the EQ capacity to reflect and change. Thats more than most adults can do, or her previous homeroom teacher at Kai Shuan Elementary. It just renewed my gratefulness at this school in the mountains.

My coworker advised me, "have no expectations" which was sound wisdom. During the meeting itself, Music teacher was full of excuses, how her comments were directed at another (imaginary) kid and not Z, it was more of saving face for her and thats ok. Whatever, everyone in the room knew, she knew we knew. I didn't get an apology, and actually that's ok too. 

The important point was that a kid who LOVES music and music class now hates it and is scared; so from a teaching standpoint she blundered somewhere along the way --she was willing to accept that she failed in this regard.

 I got emotional at the end, at least my eyes filled with tears and was handed tissue. My coworkers and I joked that I had to muster up the Emmy winning performance of a single mom in a foreign country and win over her sympathy. I told them my acting skills are non existent, but in the end, end of the week fatigue, frustration, hormones helped. I sincerely cried, and didn't have to pretend anything at all. Finally getting my period had some benefits.

 Z is super sensitive to rejection anyway, given her history (her father AWOL as a newborn +and living in alone with just me) she really needs to be loved. You can't argue with a mothers tears. I told her I believe she could redeem the situation and Z can love (her) music class again. The principal was amazing. My translator could relate to my situation because they lived in Brazil for many years and her son also had similar issues and had to move back to Taiwan (to be nearer family.) No balls were necessarily busted, but I feel like it was a productive meeting.

Maybe I changed my tune a little too, winning the war and not the battle, burning no bridges, all by showing my vulnerability.

Tiger Mom and Out Come the Claws

Singapore 2014, Boat Quay

Maybe because its Monday and I didn't sleep enough last night, but I am with little patience regarding this music teacher and the school's response. In the school's defense they did have a meeting with the teacher, but that only seemed to intensify her verbal abuse of my kid the following weeks. Its just utter frustration.

Last Thursday this teacher said to the class, "What do we do with little liars who tell their mom lies?" The class responded "Beat them up." And the teacher suggested, "I'm going to cut out her tongue!" The week before that, this teacher again incited the kids, "Class we have  a little tattle-tell who tattled to her Mom and the principal" and then she threatened to, "Take this kid to court and sue" all because my daughter is telling me whats really going on. I asked my child, "Doesn't the kids know she's talking about you?" She answered, "They're too scared of her mom!"

 Most Taiwanese students just put up with it, in fact the staff and other parents have told me, "That's her personality" or  "She has a reputation" and even, " She used to be worse, she's actually better now." None of that is stopping her from picking on my kid for telling me, which is what most abusers of children do, "If you tell your mom I'm going to..."

This week is week 4 and if the school isn't doing anything about it, then it looks like I will have to. I told my kid's homeroom teacher this morning that be prepared, I am showing up during that music class. If they can't schedule a meeting, then I'll just have to do something. Unfortunately I am upset and emotional at this point, which isn't going to help, but I think waiting 4 weeks to meet with the principal (who is busy running for some educational office at the moment) or even meet with this teacher is far too long. I think I have been up to this point quite long-suffering, and of course my child more so.

Its even more tragic when the details of what transpired 4 weeks ago come to the light. I'll have to save my energy for retelling that for the next post. My powerlessness just makes me want to cry, but if I do I'll never stop so its just easier to yield it to my inner puissant jungle pussy. Its going to get freaky.