Why We Love Spring in Yilan (And You Should Too)

We lived in Tainan for six years which is on the opposite side of the island. In many ways, the climate is just as different. Tainan was wonderful in winter; sunny, dry, not very cold, but it really didn't have much of a spring. Summer comes on like a switch in the south. At least in Yilan, Spring really sticks around much more leisurely, giving us all a long breath between the winter monsoons and summer typhoons.

These are some of my favorite Springtime moments happening now in Yilan.

Morning Glories: I noticed mid-March all the wild morning glories blossomed. Everywhere. Along the roads, paths, in the fields, around the trees. It sure adds another layer to the visuals on my daily dog walks.

Purple Herons: Apparently, these herons only nest in Siapu下埔, Yilan on their migration NE to China.

Return of the Big Critters: The macaques behind my house also came back with the warmer weather, which makes me wonder where they go in winter. They aren't the only ones though; there is wild game. The little Formosan barking deer (Muntiacus reevesi/山羌), and wild boar are also back. An old man (friend of my landlady's mom) came to my house yesterday as I was going to work, and told me he was hunting for deer behind my house, but accidentally caught a boar. I am pretty sure these are protected as they are endangered. Unfortunately, locals lay these traps everywhere and usually catch the neighborhood dogs, which is why I keep mine on a leash.

Clothes Can Dry: We've had quite the dry spell since the Lunar New Year; the river in front of my house slowly shrunk and is now a trickle, a small brook. Last week, about a dozen white herons were feeding on the tiny fish that got trapped in the shrinking pool and I've had to water my garden by hand, but the good news is, the clothes on my line, dried in a day.

Prime Camping: Now is the time for tents. It will be too hot in a month or two and perhaps wetter. There are some campsites nearby, but I suggest pitching a tent in a patch of green for free, which is what I saw this morning on my early dog walk. Here are some nearby spots in my neighborhood:

• 蜜蜜雞地, 264宜蘭縣員山鄉坡城路90號, 03 923 0761
• The Spooky Camping Site 山水幽谷營地, 262宜蘭縣礁溪鄉匏杓崙路143號, 0933 985 196
• Mountain Dew 山上有水露營區, 262宜蘭縣礁溪鄉匏杓崙路150-8號, 0919 347 289

Planting Summer Melons: We have seedlings of red and yellow watermelon and cantaloupe in the garden. I can't wait for watermelon salsa and watermelon water! There's nothing more refreshing in summer (coconut water and sugarcane juice perhaps, but I can't grow or harvest those).

Will I grow gourds or bitter melon? I doubt it, my neighbors gave me more than I could use last summer.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie: The patch of green beside the street in front of my house is the ad hoc neighborhood "dog park". The winter monsoon sent most of these feral canine packs huddled somewhere undercover. The dry March has them all lazing out in the sun. My kid nicknamed this one pack the Motley Crew, and they are no fun when I'm walking my dogs, they are very aggressive. The elderly neighbors carry walking sticks/weapons on their daily dusk walks.

Green Expo 2018 3/31-5/13: This is the 19th year. I've only been to one Yilan Green Expo, while my kid has taken field trips every year. Yilan's previous politicians have been notorious for slowing down development for the sake of environmental preservation, so this festival is a product of that legacy. Its a venue for local agriculturalists, botanists, and crafters using local agricultural products to showcase their wares, while teaching kids (and grown-ups) about caring for the earth.  It really attracts the crowds on the weekends, buses of them-which can't be too good for the environment.

Spring in Taiwan is a rather short, sweet affair so I intend to savor it while I can. The countryside in Yilan, my front porch is the optimum locality to do just that.

Holiday Homebodies

Christmas, New Years, birthdays came and went and we are still here. Of course, Christmas isn't a holiday here and it really is just an advertising gimmick to get people shopping, so we have to really cultivate all that cringle cheer, sans family or Colorado snow. Ten years in Taiwan, we are experts at this by now. Every year, my kid's presents seem to reduce, thankfully Grandpa saved the day with a package or two from home. In January, we went to Kyoto for a birthday getaway. It was both exhausting and exhilarating.

On the honor roll again, 2nd place in her class

Zen and Emm

2018's Chinese Lunar New Year (of the dog) was our first in Taiwan. Z wasn't up to going anywhere (although I had my heart set on Bali.) It was the one year anniversary of her cousin, my niece Emma's tragic death. The whole family is still reeling. The wounds are still so fresh. Staying at home for 2 weeks, with our dogs and taking it slow and easy, was what needed to happen. 

Z's kumquat painting

I caught up on yard work when the weather was cooperating. There was a week when it was sunny and warm and we made the most of it, picnicking with friends, napping in hammocks. People all over Taiwan come to our part of the woods for holiday. Their giant buses and cars visiting the nearby lake jam up the small country lanes, but they don't go as far as our tea farm. It was a blessing to be able to enjoy the wealth of our little house location with all this time to paint, do yoga or do nothing. I had time to really reflect on where I came from and where I want to go. I made goals and plans and have been pretty successful thus far with little self-disciplines I have integrated into habits. It's very easy to slip into auto-pilot, especially being a single mom.

Z's vegan orange layer cake with a kumquat glaze

My kid baked a lot, and I am trying to lose the 4 kg I gained during winter. (I am thinking of making a cooking book or blog post of all the fabulous desserts she created.) She finds baking relaxing, an avenue for her creativity and a way to use all the local fruits our neighbors bless us with from their orchards.

Our first Chinese New Year's dinner in Taiwan

For the actual Lunar New Year dinner, one of our kind neighbors (the uncle of my landlady and the grandpa of one of Z's classmates) invited us over. They had quite the spread and made sure we were stuffed. They had the traditional foods and the burning coals under the table, explaining all the dishes and customs, including all the prayers and incantations that had to do during the day and after supper. The grandpa joked,"Its so simple for you, you only have one God, we have so many." I wondered if his grandson would be able to keep up these kinds of traditions when he grows up, he was so interested in getting as far away from the dinner table and back to his computer as possible. His other relations had 4th of July grade, visually beautiful fireworks. My dogs, the dogs in the neighborhood were not exactly feeling their enthusiasm.

Returning to art again in 2018

Taipei Day Trip: Walk Like An Egyptian

Last month, I took a day off and took my kid to the AIT (American Institute  Taiwan), the ad hoc embassy to renew her passport. This is the second time we renewed it here in Taiwan. We were caught in morning traffic on the bus from Yilan, stuck in mountain tunnels. We had to make an appointment weeks before and I was nervous we'd miss out spot. I was missing classes (and money) to do this necessary renewal. (We can't travel or renew her ARC card if it has less than 6 months on her passport.)

If I'm taking the day off, might as well make a day event of it- and we did. From Taipei Main Station we took a taxi to AIT which is near Da'an station. Even 30minutes late for our appointment, it was a painless (expensive) procedure. I paid the $105US with my Taiwanese debit card, unlike five years ago running around banks for a bank that knew what a check was. (The AIT in Kaohsiung didn't want cash or credit but a bank check.)

We tried to make a yin-yang with the 2 different types of discarded tea leaves we drank. We used 2 date pits for the points

We had the whole sunny morning and decided to spend it drinking tea. As both of us appreciate traditional tea houses, the Wisteria was long on our bucket list. We took a taxi from the AIT and had one whole room to ourselves were we sampled two teas for a couple of hours.The menu was impressive. It definitely has more options than the equally atmospheric Jiufen Tea House.  Drinking tea in the Wistaria was quite a treat, not just for spending some peaceful time with my content kid, but the whole historical significance of the establishment. The Wistaria named after the vines that surround the building), is a Japanese-style wooden house built in the 1920s.  The house served as a residence for the Governor-General of Taiwan under Japanese rule prior to 1945. The teahouse, with its circa 1930s decor, was reopened to much fanfare after a long needed renovation in 2008.

The building became a teahouse and gained its current name in 1981 and was meeting place for political dissidents in the 1980's such as Lei Chen (雷震) fighting for a democratic Taiwan. Since then, Wisteria House has been and continues to be a favored meeting place for Taipei artists, academics, and literati. The teahouse was also used during the filming of Eat Drink Man Woman. There's an emerald room with tatami floors, a tatami room with large paintings including a nude, as well as chairs and tables if sitting on floors aren't your thing. It's ours so we sat on a tatami floor beside a sunny window in the largest room and had the whole space to ourselves. 

There were two other couples all in a private room. The proprietor at the cashier asked me if I came from Mexico, and I replied no, "I'm American, but my family is Spanish and Native American," and she complimented me on my bone structure" which made me smile as we conversed in Mandarin.  How strange, usually Taiwanese comment on how beautiful my daughter is. She's so exotic with her green eyes and thick wavy light hair. I'm so used to being invisible. 

Then we were off on another taxi, meeting some lovely, teen daughters of a family friend for lunch. We unsuccessfully convinced them to join us for the National Palace exhibit, but lunch took much longer than we all thought and they had places to be. 

It's possible to get mummy overload and when I was carefree in Cairo (2003?) before my daughter was born, that's what happened to me. The Cairo Museum of Antiquities has one of the oldest and largest collections of pharaonic items on the globe, but after so many mummies, my eyes kind of glazed over. I always felt pretty blessed to have seen the pyramids and this museum in person, as well as having a close encounter with mummies in the hollow burial sites in Siwa. (Picture me galloping alone on a ferocious stallion the sun setting behind Giza, a little scared and very alive.) A year later I was in grad school in York, England and had the good fortune to walk the among the collection of the British Museum. So when I saw a friend's post about the British Museum having a small exhibition in Taipei's National Palace Museum, I made it a point to take my kid.

I was pretty impressed how the British Museum set their exhibit up. Instead of overdosing on mummies, they presented six mummies from different genders, classes, times, including a small child, and it really was a digestible way to learn and appreciate life along the Nile between 900 BC to 180 AD. There were no photos allowed, and it was quite dark inside. Unlike my previous Egyptian mummy experiences, this was high-tech. The scientists had scanned the mummies and on the screen, you could see how the mummies were found, all the jewelry, tokens, amulets and their placements on their bodies. Obviously, we could see each item itself encased in glass and the layers of coffins. The paintings of some of the outer coffins were breathtaking. 

Poor attempt at a selfie with Egyptian mural in the background

There was one woman, I'm not sure if she was the married priestess or the temple singer, but they had placed amulets along each chakra. It blew me away that ancient Egyptians also shared this with Kundalini (from another ancient river civilization). How arrogant of me to think ancient people didn't know about glands and the endocrine system when they had the science to take brains out of nostrils.

I also appreciated how we could see the evolution of the mummy's outer coffin in terms of adapting to the times. It was blatantly obvious when Greek civilization was the hegemonic power, the mummy of the young man looked like a Greek, Orthodox saint. 

Our little Taipei day trip was the best Monday we had in a while. I highly recommend catching the Egyptian Mummies from the British Museum: Exploring Ancient Lives, before it ends in February.

Wake Up and Smell the (Funky Fungi) Coffee of Immortality

The latest health food trend (in America) is Mushroom Coffee; coffee spiked with Asian medicinal mushrooms. I was debating whether or not to order some from i-Herb, but it's pretty expensive and I am not sure of whether or not its medicinal properties are lost during processing and if I might find something cheaper and purer right where I'm at. For example, the medicinal mushrooms in America are really mycelium grown on grain. According to TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine), medicinal mushrooms should be grown without chemicals and those that grow wildly on wood (like Reishi) should be cultivated on wood, as the different trees produce subtle differences of medicinal applications. 

Reishi Coffee from Nantou

The medicinal mushrooms in such coffee are usually including Lion's Mane猴頭菇, Cordyceps蟲草  (冬蟲夏草), Chaga白樺茸, Turkey Tails雲芝 and Reishi 靈芝.The health benefits are increased mental alertness (without jitters or insomnia), and a power shot of adaptogens, anti-oxidants and anti-carcinogens.

The other week, Z and I watched an awesome documentary (Himalayan Gold) on Discovery Asia about the cordycep pickers of Nepal. It's a mushroom that grows out of a body of a caterpillar and also one of the 'magic' medicinal mushrooms in TCM  (and in the latest mushroom coffee fad of the West).

The more I learn about mushrooms, the more I realize how much I don't really know. Thankfully my friend and former body combat sparring partner Erin, helped me find some local shrooms. 

Lion's Mane猴頭菇 and Cordyceps蟲草 are very common in Taiwan. Fresh Lion's Mane can be ordered from Fengnian Farm in Puli or occasionally you can see them at major supermarkets. It looks pretty far out, as its furry (it's also called Bear's Head in North America) and looks more like cauliflower than fungi.

 I have experimented with cooking with fresh Lion's Mane and use it as with any mushroom. I prefer to saute it with butter and garlic and have added it in to creamy pasta, sandwiches and omelets. It has a consistency and texture much like scallops. It's no wonder it's also called the 'Lobster of the Wood.' 

Above:Creamy Pasta with Lion's Mane and goji berry
Below: Lion's Mane upclose

Reishi in TCM is known as the "mushroom of immortality" as its a powerful tonic and immunity booster. That same Fengnian Farm does sell organic Reisi mushroom (Ganoderma antlers) coffee and it's not cheap- a packet of 10 little satchels is 270 NT (plus shipping). Unfortunately, it's watered down with powdered creamer and sugar. I'm drinking a cup right now and it tastes like any instant coffee with creamer and sugar, with just the slightest aroma of mushroom. I prefer my coffee black but this is still palatable.

 I feel like the reishi does give me more stamina (rather than quick energy) and I drink it when I have a particularly heavy schedule (7 back to back classes and running errands on my lunch break) or after a stressful previous evening (my last night). For more on the benefits of reishi read here.

Taiwanese use Reishi 靈芝 in chicken soup the same as dried Cordyceps冬蟲夏草 . Both are very expensive and  can be found in all quality Chinese Herb/medicine shops.

Turkey Tail 雲芝 mushroom is the rarest. It is also found in the best TCM  herbal shops.  My next mission will be to check out the local herb apothecaries and see what fungi I can experiment with.

I still might order this, energizing hot cocoa with reishi and cordyceps,
30 servings for 300NT via iHerb. Use my reward code(LRF400) and we both get 5% off our next order.

(For the record "magic" psychadelic mushrooms are available in Taiwan but not as commonly used recreationally as at home or SE Asia, yet they are known to be enjoyed by artists and bohemians every now and again).

Trump's New Jerusalem and a World Wide State of Alert

Back in 2009 after Taiwan's devastating typhoon Morakot, I joined the US State Department's STEP program. I periodically received little regional warnings, especially after a terrorist attack in say the UK or France for example. A few hours after Trump's Thursday decision to be the only country (and global super power, major donor to Israel) to formally recognize Jerusalem as the capital, the DOS sent me the following travel warning.  This was the first time I received one in response to Trump's foreign policy decision. One like this hasn't been issued since 2003 and the start of the 2nd Iraq war (I was in Egypt's Red Sea at that time). Thursday's warning is here:

As part of the Department of State's continuous efforts to provide U.S. citizens traveling abroad with information about safety and security events, we are updating the Worldwide Caution with information on the continuing threat of terrorist actions, political violence, and criminal activity against U.S. citizens and interests abroad.  This replaces the Worldwide Caution dated September 14, 2017.      

As terrorist attacks, political upheaval, and violence often take place without any warning, U.S. citizens are strongly encouraged to maintain a high level of vigilance and take appropriate steps to increase their security awareness when traveling.  To better prepare for possible emergencies, U.S. citizens are encouraged to read Country Specific Information pages, Travel Warnings, and Travel Alerts on travel.state.gov before planning a trip.

In addition to concerns stemming from terrorism, travelers should be alert to the possibility of political unrest, violence, demonstrations, and criminal activities when traveling.  Country-specific information pages and Travel Warnings should be consulted to obtain the latest data on such threats. 

Travelers are urged to enroll in the Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP)to receive security messages and make it easier to locate you in an emergency.  The Department uses these security messages to convey information about terrorist threats, security incidents, planned demonstrations, natural disasters, etc.  In an emergency, please contact the nearest U.S. Embassy or Consulate or call the following numbers: 1-888-407-4747 (toll-free in the United States and Canada) or 1-202-501-4444 from other countries. 

 U.S. government facilities worldwide remain in a heightened state of alert.  These facilities may temporarily close or periodically suspend public services to assess their security posture.  In those instances, U.S. embassies and consulates will make every effort to provide emergency services to U.S. citizens.  U.S. citizens abroad are urged to monitor the local news and maintain contact with the nearest U.S. embassy or consulate. 

 Terrorist groups including ISIS, al-Qa'ida, their associates, and those inspired by such organizations, are intent on attacking U.S. citizens wherever they are.  Extremists may use conventional or non-conventional weapons to target U.S. government and private interests.  Terrorists are increasingly using less sophisticated methods of attack to more effectively target crowds, including the use of edged weapons, pistols, and vehicles as weapons.  Extremists increasingly aim to assault "soft" targets, such as:

·     high-profile public events (sporting contests, political rallies, demonstrations, holiday events, celebratory gatherings, etc.)

·        hotels, clubs, and restaurants

·        places of worship

·        schools

·        parks

·        shopping malls and markets

·        tourism infrastructure

·        public transportation systems

·        airports

 In multiple regions, terrorists, guerrilla groups, and criminals seek to kidnap U.S. citizens to finance their operations or for political purposes.  The Department also remains concerned that terrorists could again seek to down aircraft using concealed explosives or hijack commercial flights

Private U.S. citizens should not travel to any country to participate in armed conflict.  U.S. citizens are reminded that fighting on behalf of or providing other forms of support to designated terrorist organizations can constitute the provision of material support for terrorism, which is a serious crime that can result in penalties, including prison time and large fines. 

The warning continued in detail with each region and links to their countries. I believe Taiwan is quite safe and I statistically have more of a probable chance being hurt in the States by a gun, by someone I know, then a terrorist attack in Taiwan. However, I don't think I will go to Malaysia or Bali this Chinese New Years.

I'm all for rocking the boat, stirring the pot, but Trump's recklessness is far from coming from a position as peacemaker. If he truly wanted to promote peace or stability outside of global cooperation with allies and UN resolutions, he might of made Jerusalem the capitol of Israel and Palestine and formally recognize a 2 state solution. Until then, Americans abroad are more of a target, which may be what Trump's men wanted all along.

Middle School Confusion ,"Teacher's Discount" and the Possible Omen

About two months ago, my daughter's homeroom teacher was asking all the parents where their kids were going to junior high at next year. I didn't have an answer for her. The majority of Z's classmates will go to the nearest junior high down the road, and a few who come from educated parents (parents who are teachers) are having their kids go to the bigger, more academic schools in Yilan City. I moved from the city into the mountains to be closer to my school, I don't want to commute, and besides, there's more than just academics and homework for a kid's education.

As for us, I had and still have no idea where my kid is going next year. I had assumed and hoped she could come to the school I'm currently teaching at. My school's recruiter visited her class back then, showed a movie about how our students volunteer abroad and my kid's classmates (who are well-to-do) had second thoughts. My daughter had talked to the recruiter and he told her with my "foreigner's salary I could afford the school's tuition"- which was mighty presumptuous, considering tuition is like 100,000NT (3,300 USD) a semester and my net salary is 2,165USD a month. When we ran into him a week later he asked us if Z was coming to our school and we told him no, tuition is too expensive. Then he told us with a teacher's discount it was like 7,000 a month, which was totally doable.

Then my managers called the Finance office who said that foreign teachers don't qualify for the discount because our salaries are higher. That's a first, I worked here ten years in private schools and always had a teacher's discount. Whatever. This is the first time a foreign teacher's kid would attend here and obviously, they aren't looking at the big picture. Already my students are asking me if my daughter will attend here, and instead of answering, "I don't know," I'm just being honest, "No she's not, it's too expensive for me." It's really up to the principal. Supposedly, the recruiter will have a meeting with the principal and Finance office director and ask officially on our behalf. I'm not counting on it.

It really is the school's loss. My kid is bright, 2nd in her class, her Chinese is better than the local kid's and her English has a positive influence on her class. I was told that even if she came here, she would have to follow the school's schedule of 7:30am -6pm which is pretty ridiculous if I'm a paying customer. Besides, what they do between 7:30-8 and 5-6 is nothing that would hurt her grades (self-studying and practice testing). My daughter does better on her grades clearing her head with music at home.

I have let go of all expectations of my school to do the right thing by me as a hard-working teacher here, or a single- parent. It might work out better for my kid if she wasn't here because it is a kind of overly regimented prison for rich kids,  but her math and coding would be so fantastic! So we checked out the other two nearest options. My manager suggested the one which is an alternative school and a 25-minute commute one way. Great school, beautiful, small, even more in the countryside, but there's the whole commute thing and no school bus. I hate driving in Taiwan and especially with my car. That was the whole point of moving closer to my work, - no commute. This school would be happy to have Z and isn't it so refreshing to be wanted!?

The other junior high school is the closest public one and the one the majority of her classmates would go. My kid was opposed to this, her first choice was mine, (because of the academic challenge of course). She also wanted a fresh start with new people. We visited this local junior high and everyone was very welcoming and nice but then one office lady took a look at our address and said since we lived on the other side of the river, we were in a different township and had to go to a school in Jiaoxi, which is even further (I still don't know where it is), which was discouraging. My kid's current homeroom teacher said foreign kids could legally go anywhere, and I told that to this woman who disagreed. So who knows still?

In the past, I worked for a private (and expensive) preschool-kindy in Tainan, where Z went from age 2 1/2 until she started grade 1 at a local public school. My then employer charged me with a teacher's discount 14,000 NT (465 USD) a month (for 4 years), which seems steep considering my next job.  It was one foot forward two back in terms of saving, which I never could. We moved to Yilan and I worked at ChungDau, another boarding private school. I taught kindy, elementary and middle school classes, my kid then was in 3rd grade and with a teacher's discount, her tuition was only 10,000 NT (333USD)  a month which seemed pretty fair.

Maybe this whole "where will she go to middle school" is a sign? The final straw to come on home back to Denver?  I considered homeschooling for a millisecond. As an only child to a single parent, I believe she needs people, others, she needs teachers and classmates and connecting. I am just praying and trusting Higher Powers that the right doors will open and the wrong ones will close and that ultimately the Universe has our best interests at heart. So I'm not worried about it, but I am curious.

Haters Gonna Hate and Going Mental

Darkness is a cruel Bully and he took my niece, he has taken friends, he tried to take others, he won't take mine.

A few months ago, I sent an emergency message out to my friends in Yilan about finding a therapist for my daughter. She had been bullied for almost a year by a girl in her class. No teacher or parent was doing anything, so the only thing we could do was minimize the damage, help Z process. I could tell one day of the gravity of the distress of her being, after a talk we had. She confirmed my intuitions and answered me with this subterranean, inarticulate guttural, cry, that she was starting to slip into a dark place. A mom can read the different cries of her child, this soul language, and know the intensity of her despair.

Honestly, I should have got my Z in therapy earlier to process her grief over the death of my niece, her closest cousin that happened over CNY. (She has reoccurring nightmares of her cousin's murder.) I had put it off, but not anymore.

My daughter in our neighbor's tea terrace

This isn't the first time my kid has been targeted. Mean girls seem to enjoy targeting my Z (kindergarten and grade 3). Its been a lesson in resilience for both of us, mostly her. In a homogenous society that does little to educate its populace on inclusionism or face its own racism, its no surprise, she's an easy target. Also, teachers bullying students is perfectly acceptable, so of course some kids have no problem following suit. The only way anything changes around here is someone gets caught on tape and its aired on the local TV "news".

About a year ago, I actually invited myself for tea over the bully's mom's house in an attempt to nonchalantly drop the message of her daughter's change in behavior (they were friends before.)  Unlike her classmates, my kid comes home and tells me every detail of her day, the good and bad. This mom had no idea how many times her daughter had burst into tears that week- I knew more about it than she did. Her mom was kind, well mannered, and promised to talk to her daughter. Well, there was ultimately no change in her kid's behavior.

Then about a month or two ago this girl "accidentally" hit my daughter and for me that was the last straw. Tiger mom claws coming out. I feel like my kid and I had been overwhelmingly patient and long-suffering. I messaged her mom and teacher that enough is enough, this girl's verbal abuse has escalated to physical because there is absolutely zero consequences for her behavior. The mom wasn't soft spoken and nice anymore. In fact, she must have been gossiping with the teacher because she asked me,"why had Z gone to so many schools before?"- implying Z is the problem- as if my change in jobs or moving to Yilan were any of her business.

This bully already has a reputation among the classmates of being "nuts" and emotionally unstable, so my daughter isn't the only one (though she is the main target), yet I am the only parent to put my foot down. Whatever, I am THAT mom, no use being someone else.

I demanded a meeting. Everyone, including myself, was calm-but I was frank (her mom wasn't there). I have over a year, tried the Taiwanese way of dropping hints, waiting for adults to do something, indirectly communicating. I had to reassure her teacher that I didn't dislike her (she took everything personally), I liked how she let the kids work things out, but in this case, she actually has to tell this girl to stop- a long time ago. I suggested to the group this disturbed girl needed to see a professional. It's no exaggeration, a recent study showed that 30% of Taiwanese students have some kind of mental disorder that requires professional intervention. They chuckled.

One positive manifestation of this bitter experience is my kid just puts her nose to the grind in terms of academics and is 2nd in her class, the only girl in the top 3. Her Chinese is better than her classmates. After my meeting, their teacher finally told the girl she had to be civil with my kid and the girl actually improved (if only she could have done this a year ago.). The girl had a few setbacks as to be expected, and their teacher took time to talk to her alone after each episode- so progress.  Who knows what's [not] going on at home?

A not so positive manifestation is my kid in trying to defend her person-hood, existence in that space,  she has begun to "roast", insult her bully or anyone who gangs up on her (as they do because its all herd mentality and Z will call them, "Sheep."). I told her teachers and principals at the meeting (before they brought it up) I knew about it, because she tells me what she says. I reassured them that I am not supporting Z's retorts and insults, but I did say it was a survival mechanism. I tell Z the old, "Two wrongs don't make a right" (以牙還牙是不可取的) spiel my folks told me (she doesn't buy it). Its hard enough for me or any adult, let alone a kid, to navigate that fine line of protecting your boundaries and not become a jerk like a bully. I really think a good old fashioned school yard fist fight would resolve the pecking order and said as much in the meeting. Let's tell the mom, make a date and time, serve coffee, bring some lawn chairs and get it over with so we could move on. Ok that's a personal fantasy, but what I do encourage my kid on a practical level is to instead of roasting her enemy be overly kind, use her fantastic humor. She says she doesn't want to waste her jokes on "them" but really I believe she can use her talent by making a room laugh and take her power back in a positive way. I will forever encourage her wit over insulting others, even if they started it.

This week, my kid and I are feeling some small vindication. The girl bully in Z's class finally got caught on tape a few days ago- undeniable, irrefutable evidence that we are not exaggerating and this is no "accident". Her mom was quite ugly to me when I told her last time (the 2nd time) that her kid hit mine (as well of the daily microaggressions of verbal abuse that Z endured for over a year). I made it clear to her principals and teacher should this happen again, Z has the right to defend herself without fear of penalty. I just want to make sure with her mom the point again because this disturbed girl needs a serious ass kicking. Kudos to my kid for having self-control and patience. I am seriously thinking of sending the psychologist bill to her mom. Also, kudos to myself because I have been extremely patient with this mom and culture of denial and kudos to her teacher for taking the time to check out the security camera tape, she didn't have to.

 Z's therapist is quite the blessing. My coworker's wife homeschools and this therapist is in her homeschooling group, so she not wanting her kids in the Taiwanese school system is a positive indication to me. Her training, style is EMDR, which is excellent for children suffering PTSD  and the loss of a loved one. Also since we can't meet during normal working hours M-F because Z's at school and I'm working, she meets Z on Sunday morning. It ain't cheap, but Z is over the moon so I am too. 

I had a couple of Facebook friends send me this  and everything he said about power and being resilient and not showing the bully you are upset is everything my kid has done. But her bully did not stop, this guy is wrong if he thinks it will stop all bullies. Z won't show her bully she's hurt, she comes home and tells me and cries with me. In my opinion the only thing to stop Z's bully is either her parents investing in counseling or  an old school ass kicking at recess.

RESOURCES:
Some of my friends suggested other therapists in the Yilan area:

• Near YiLan university is a  quite famous, male counselor 王意中
• Lynn is an American married to a Taiwanese TCM Dr. She does sand art therapy.
• Wenhsiung is Taiwanese married to a German, she lived in Germany a long time and speaks excellent English. She helped my friend's son.