Since meeting with the principal, Z's music teacher, homeroom teacher and English teacher (translator), I have to exhale a massive sigh of relief that all is well. Progress and resolution happened. It required tears and not anger. My daughter has had 2 music classes since and music teacher has been cordial, talking to her with a "normal" tone, so I am grateful she did have the EQ capacity to reflect and change. Thats more than most adults can do, or her previous homeroom teacher at Kai Shuan Elementary. It just renewed my gratefulness at this school in the mountains.
My coworker advised me, "have no expectations" which was sound wisdom. During the meeting itself, Music teacher was full of excuses, how her comments were directed at another (imaginary) kid and not Z, it was more of saving face for her and thats ok. Whatever, everyone in the room knew, she knew we knew. I didn't get an apology, and actually that's ok too.
The important point was that a kid who LOVES music and music class now hates it and is scared; so from a teaching standpoint she blundered somewhere along the way --she was willing to accept that she failed in this regard.
I got emotional at the end, at least my eyes filled with tears and was handed tissue. My coworkers and I joked that I had to muster up the Emmy winning performance of a single mom in a foreign country and win over her sympathy. I told them my acting skills are non existent, but in the end, end of the week fatigue, frustration, hormones helped. I sincerely cried, and didn't have to pretend anything at all. Finally getting my period had some benefits.
Z is super sensitive to rejection anyway, given her history (her father AWOL as a newborn +and living in alone with just me) she really needs to be loved. You can't argue with a mothers tears. I told her I believe she could redeem the situation and Z can love (her) music class again. The principal was amazing. My translator could relate to my situation because they lived in Brazil for many years and her son also had similar issues and had to move back to Taiwan (to be nearer family.) No balls were necessarily busted, but I feel like it was a productive meeting.
Maybe I changed my tune a little too, winning the war and not the battle, burning no bridges, all by showing my vulnerability.
- Kathy (杜 言 艷)
- Yilan, Taiwan
- I'm a Social Studies teacher and single mom from Colorado and have lived here for 9 years. Taiwan is an excellent base for us explore Asia, while living in relative (gun free) safety, while benefiting from a cheap and efficient national health care system. The people are amazing too. I have friendships that are 14 years old and I'm always making new ones.