Football manager inspires others with dedication

 This is the latest article on my brother Eddie and his passion for high school football in the face of his disabilities. The article failed to mention the moving across the country, the details of medical mishaps, the epileptic seizures. Those details are for my dad who finished a rough draft about my amazing brother.

Arapahoe Herald /Tuesday, December 6, 2011

SPORTS Football manager inspires others with dedication  by Maggie Hurlbut

Arapahoe Herald Every fall, students and parents crowd the stands for Friday night football. Seventy-eight players line the field along with coaches, managers and trainers. Along with these typical team members is
someone distinctly unique to Arapahoe. Manager Eddie Benavides has been with the team for eleven years. Benavides graduated from Arapahoe High School in 2001 and started managing a year later. “Honestly, I can’t imagine Arapahoefootball without Eddie,” junior Taven Sparks said. “There is something special about football and the camaraderie that you develop as a team. Our coaches often refer to us asa football family. Eddie is a very important member of that family. It just wouldn’t be the same without him.”

In addition to being an avid football fan and a crucial member of the Arapahoe football family, Benavides has prevailed over many physical challenges, disabilities and illnesses through his entire life.“I’ve had so many surgeries counting back from when I was a baby,” Benavidessaid. “We lost count at surgery number 25. That was when I was a baby.”

Benavides’s father has been with Eddie’s since the beginning and has had a frontrow view of all that he has been through “Eddie was born with multiple syndromes; a medical label for ailments,”Benavides’s father, Andy Benavides, said. “The first is Craniosynostosis. This ailment is associated with Eddie’s head. Simply stated,this is a deformity of Eddie’s skull. All of thesutures in Eddie’s head were closed at birth;that’s right, no ‘baby’ soft spots. The onl treatment for this syndrome is surgery.” “Eddie also has Arthrogryposis, a condition used to describe a number of rare conditions associated with joints and abnormally developed muscles. Eddie has locked elbows, clubfeet, and his wrists aredeformed. His wrists would not allow his
fingers to point outward, only downward.”

“We would eventually learn that addressing this syndrome would consist of multiple medical treatments and surgeries. According to his doctors in Phoenix, Eddie was the first human being to have these syndromes simultaneously. They said, ‘Mr. and Mrs. Benavides, after additional testing and evaluation, we are recommending that Eddie be institutionalized. Eddie’s brain activity is close to being nonexistent and there are strong indications that he will be in a state of vegetation for the entirety of his life.’”

Benavides has been living with his conditions since he was a baby. Even more impressive is that he continues to overcomemany challenges in his day-to-day life.“As far as physical challenges I’ve overcome, I’ve overcome life itself,” Benavides said. “From surgeries I’ve dealt with since I was a baby to my disabilities I have to deal with every day. Those two challenges have had a huge effect on my day-to-day life.Due to my disabilities, I have found ways to adjust to everyday life.”

Benavides’s attitude towards all of his conditions is remarkable. “These challenges have helped mebecome a stronger person because of my attitude,” Benavides said. “Most importantly, as a believer and Christian, God has helped me become a stronger person through my challenges with everyday life.” Benavides’s presence at games is somethingcoaches and players value deeply. “He knows the layout of where we want to position different drills and things like that,” head coach Mike Campbell said. “On game day, he’s just our biggest fan and supporter more than anything. He inspires us all.”

“Benavides means so much to the team,” Sparks said. “Although he isn’t out there coaching or playing, his presence at practice and games is invaluable. He is such an inspiration to the players and coaches on the team. If a practice or game isn’t going the way we would like, Eddie helps us put the game of football in perspective.” “Eddie is part of the Arapahoe football family. He is sad when we lose and thrilledwhen we win. Eddie is a true Warrior inspiring others through his positive attitude and passion for the game. More importantly, he has shown us how to overcome struggle and find joy in life.”

Benavides’s amazing journey and perseverance inspires players and coaches alike.“I think that he’s just a good reminder; he puts everything in perspective,” Campbell said. “Times get tough in football. You can get hurt, you can be tired and fatigued and want to quit, and when you see Eddie and everything that he’s been through, you wouldn’t dare quit.”Benavides’s commitment and love for Arapahoe football goes past his dedication and presence on the field. “His involvement with the football program cannot be put to words,” Andy Benavides said. “Simply stated, Eddie loves Arapahoe. His room is yellow and black; his clothes must include yellow and black. If it were possible, his briefs would be yellow and black. He fell and broke his wrist about a month ago. Immediately, Eddie requested a yellow and black cast.”

Benavides’s passion for the program sets the standards for the players’ performance. “Eddie is very competitive and he desires that our football players would be just as competitive,” Andy Benavides said. Benavides uses his journey to inspire the players to give their all and to keep going no matter what happens. At the game against Chatfield on Oct. 29, Benavides gavethe pregame speech.“He showed us pictures of the painful surgery he had to go through,” Sparks said. “His willingness to fight for his life every dayand persevere through such a difficult situation made each and every player realize that we must live each day to the fullest. Eddie reminds all of us to be thankful for our ability to go out and play the game of football.

In his speech, he talked about letting a bad play go. Eddie said you can’t let what happened in the past slow you down. He said you must move on and keep fighting.” After seeing what Benavides has beenthrough and how no matter what he continues to persevere and have a positive attitudemakes the players and coaches grateful forthings normally taken for granted.“He’s a person that is grateful for everyday he gets,” Campbell said. “So if you have some downs, which are going to happen during the course of any season, he just puts a smile on your face right away. And it’s pretty tough to feel sorry for yourself whenyou know what he deals with and what an average day looks like [for him].”

Benavides’s dedication and commitment to the team is inspiring to everyone who meets him and without him the Arapahoe football family would not be complete. “I do it for the love of the sport and the dedication to the school,” Benavides said. “Being able to be part of the school’s football program at the school you graduated from is a blast. Next year being season 12 and being told I have a lifetime contract working at Arapahoe. What else can you ask for?”

“Who knows what’s coming next year?

Arapahoe HS and the whole Arapahoe football program are like another family to me personally. I am nowhere close to calling it quits. I’m planning on continuing working at Arapahoe for a long time,” Benavides said.
Lanius @ wplSports.com
 
 

Winter Comes To Tainan

The cold weather officially came some time last week. After weeks of perfect weather, seriously perfect, mild, not hot or cold, slightly cool in the evening-- I was still wearing short sleeves and shorts on my scooter. Then like someone turned on a switch, the cold came on. I had to close most of my windows, layer up, get out the thick blankets, wash some sweaters. I was kind of disappointed with the cold, typically I am excited about wearing sweaters, scarves, tights, feeling cozy. I wonder if this is some sign of getting older.

Take into consideration that cold is relative here. After several years of humid, sub tropic summers, 20 C  (68 F) is cold. (Today's weather is here.)

That first night of cold weather, I decided to cook something for dinner that would produce heat. Traditional Chinese cooking is basically medicinal. The cook takes factors like the weather, season, constitution of the those eating all into consideration. Like a scientist a Chinese cook knows which foods produce heat or cool the body. I gave Z a choice Ginseng chicken or Four spirits soup 四物湯.

She picked the Ginseng Chicken soup. In Taiwan chicken sold with its bones is more expensive than boneless breasts  because the bones improve the flavor. (Chomping on cartilage brings memories of a kid for some reason). I stewed the chicken with some broth and of course the Ginseng. The Ginseng is sold in muslin with other Chinese medicinal foods--goji berries, Jujube dates, angelica.To bring out the heating properties I add ginger, of course garlic, rice wine and dark sesame (extremely heating). Instead of steamed brown rice I opted for steamed millet. I also threw in some Job's Tears 薏仁  (Coix Seeds) into the stew.

Ginseng Chicken served over a bed of steamed millet

 Healthy food can be yummy and adventurous. Cooking here is certainly getting me more in touch with the culture, local foods, the weather and my own body's needs at that particular moment.

Thanksgiving in Tainan

For work we had to do something on Children's day, November 21st, which I was happy to do. A few years back I bought Z a book from the UN in English and Mandarin with kid like illustrations of the different rights children have. I combined this with Thanksgiving. Living in Taiwan teaching the kids, I sorta forgo all the Pilgrim story/myth and just try and talk about gratitude, being thankful. Its not their myth.

My class is only 4 years old, so its very basic. I showed them the book w/ illustrations and in basic English, sometimes sprinkled with basic Mandarin, they got the gist of most of the rights. It was my moment to indoctrinate the youngins with UN propaganda (that I whole heartily agree with), like every child has the right to shelter, food, education and health care. (There are some in America that would call that socialist, big sigh as I shake my head). We watched a few Youtube cartoons of the various rights, produced by the UN in cartoon form. The right to a fair trial, and open jury was probably the most difficult for them to understand, but two or three understood when I explained that 2 kids have a disagreement the teacher acts as a judge and cant play favorites.

For Thanksgiving, I was invited to one of the first foreign friend I made in Tainan, their house. Pat is American, his wife is Taiwanese, they have a son a few years older than Z. They had a houseful of coworkers and Uni students I never met before which was nice. It wasn't a typical Thanksgiving meal, but Joy provided Costco chicken and pumpkin pie, along with rice and Thai curry, pasta and clam chowder. I made a lovely (if I do say so) coleslaw with purple cabbage, pear and celery, a savory red onion and sweet potato tart, mashed potatoes and gravy. John another Yank thankfully brought wine and Imma's brownies. (Immas the Israeli bakery in Tainan, the best and most expensive bakery).

It was fun, Z was entertained by the 19 year old Uni kids. There was a young guy from Japan to round it out. I asked if he watched the recent Taiwanese epic (part 1 ) about the indigenous fighting the Japanese during their occupation of Taiwan.  He was honest and transparent (unlike the Japanese stereotype of the friendly face masking deeper contrary feelings). He was studying Theology to be a minister, an even greater rarity in Japan. I talked with the Spanish professor (from Barcelona so we had a lot to talk about).  He convinced me to formally apply to the job in Santiago. We talked about the myth of the 1st Thanksgiving meal, White guilt, the genocide of the Americas. It was nice to touch the surface with someone who already knew deeper collective tragedies and had no need to defend. History has the final say I suppose. And even then I bit my tongue about Japanese text books.

I was certainly thankful for a great evening even if it was late for a work/school night.

Hallows Eve in Tainan

Z went to a costume party at Tin Pan Alley on Friday. I didn’t think we were going to make it, I drove to the Red Wolf Bar and had to call a friend for directions (other side of the park.) Z was getting angry at me for not getting there. Most of the kids were Taiwanese, a few were mixed. I met the co-owners who were all nice, attentive and welcoming. All the kids got a mango juice and a slice of pizza. I had a mango martini, it was shockingly strong. I was glad to know I was returning for the very adult version the following night. On Monday was the 31st and my friend Allen, their kids and some of our friends we had a Halloween party. He had me carve a pumpkin and we took too many photos of our kids dressed up.

The Saturday night before Halloween was party night. All the foreigner pubs and bars had their thing going on. I had Z stay at my friend Grace’s house and I went to Tin Pan alley with coworkers Gina, Lulu, and Carmen. I was the only one who dressed up. I originally wanted to be a superhero, but my homemade ghetto get up did not turn out the same as I envisioned it. (Red shorts, blue tights, blue shirt and my daughter’s red cape, with a silver mask.) So I changed into a sea green dress, borrowed Z’s wings, silver shoes and hair and hoped I passed for a fairy.

There was live reggae and I was soon on my feet and danced the night away, literally. I didn’t get home til late the next morning and was exhausted. I had an excessive amount of fun, too much fun. I was making up for the past three years of never going out. I have lived in Taiwan for over three years and never went to Tin Pan, and never have gone out dancing in Tainan before. Sad but true.

I saw some old friends and made some new ones (and maybe a couple of enemies.) I was dancing with some guy and I guess his Taiwanese gf wasn’t happy about the whole things, but it was all innocent. There was one foreigner with a hideously insulting costume. I was shocked, other people I met were shocked, he was beyond tasteless, he was a misogynist to say the least. By the end of the night, with maybe one beer too many I had crossed the line. I went up to him and told him, “if he didn’t change his flipping costume, I was going to take him (pointing) over behind the alley and beat him out of it.” Needless to say he changed. I’m not proud of my aggression, but some people go too far. If someone wears such a costume, they obviously are expecting some kind of reaction.

I am much too old for sleepless nights, but dancing to live reggae, was beyond bliss.

A Stretch Into Sapience or Bodhi Beautitude

Dont let the title fool you. Im definately not enlightened or a sage. But I had the slightest of revelations that sort of through me off kilter, back into the flow. Im back on track, although I dont know where I am going

This week was arduous and a blessing. On Sunday night my mind was working overtime. I was thinking of the future (as always) and what to do, stay in Tainan, stay at my current job, stay in Taiwan or move to Tokyo. If I want to move to Japan as some sort of metaphor of getting to a new destination internally. What am I looking for? What is best for Z and what is best for me and realize how I have been sacrificing the past 3 years living in Tainan for her. I prayed for wisdom, for clarification for some sort of message of direction and peace of mind.


The next morning it was swiftly answered. I put on some Joseph Prince on my new stereo and immediately he said it doesn’t matter what country you live in if you live in the city or country, or what job or education, we are blessed w/every spiritual blessing. The blessing is on me, not what I do or where I am and I knew it was God talking to me and it calmed me down. I was settled in my heavenly position, seated above all principalities. And I realized I have been closing blessings from flowing into my life because I am seeking the unknown future. I had this enormous epiphany that if I just remain, rest in the blessed state of knowing NOW that circumstantially I am blessed no matter what, then things will start flowing. It really is that Bjork song “All is full of love.” It hit me that if I just stay in this moment which is the Ultimate Reality, then all the things that are not right will (eventually) be made right. Powerful stuff. I had to reign my mind back constantly through the week, but it was such a powerful experience. Like having hope w/o giving my heart away to be hurt in the process. Enjoying the present without the expectations from my excessive imaginations, yet expecting everything to be made right if I just remain Here, in my rightful place.

I had a great week, ‘tho I stayed up too late every night strumming the guitar and waking early (5 or 6) coz I’m on farmer time all the time. I unleashed torrent of pent up (sexual) energy in my dance class Wednesday, finishing our cool down in a pool of my own ecstatic sweat. Now I’m tired from the end of the week, from Turbulence Training today at lunch and will hit the hay early. Get ready for camping w/kids tomorrow.

I had the strangest dream before I woke this morning. I was at some hot springs and was putting on my swim suit w/o paying attention. When I was walking to the pool I noticed what I was wearing. This sort of Catwoman/Vampire, black, leather swimsuit that had this gigantic Dracula collar. It was more fabric then ‘Id like to wear in the water. I told Z “I can’t wear this! Where is my old swimsuit?” I feel like the dream means that when I get to a vulnerable place (partially nude in public in this case), I still have some kind of armor or people’s impression of me is this kind of dark, sinister power, maybe as a kind of unconscious protection. Maybe it was something to do w/my own Shadow. But since the past few months I feel like I am a snake shedding its skin, being renewed inside and out, having slightly more awareness of my own inner workings. I haven’t been able to do this alone. I just wonder where it will take me (d’och I’m doing it again).

Summer Soujourn

 
 With the parting of summer and somewhat cooling climate, its only fitting I reap the harvests of my summer journey both outer and inner, they somehow reflect each other. It began in May, going to Kenting with friends and staying in an opulent resort in the mts. Cabins and pools, kids playing, wine at night, me addicted to archery.




Then in June, spending Dragon Boat weekend in Green Island.
Camping beside a rocky coral cove beside a dramatic cliff wall, lush black sky full of milky stars, a primordial fire to watch us while we slept, then recovering in the rare sea water hot springs.


Salt water hot springs



 In July we spent 14 days in the Malaysian peninsula and ending in Singapore. I met 2 wonderful men I had a kind of connection with, whom I’m still in contact with. The first a Syrian in KL, who is doing some rare stones trading between Sri Lanka and Dubai who is now trying to get a Taiwanese visa to come visit. The other a roving Irishman I met in a bus to Cherating, where we stayed and traveled down to Singapore together. He did come for a short visit just last weekend here in Tainan and hopefully will return before Christmas.

Pulau Pankgor



I am well acquainted with my own company and don’t mind being alone, but one night in Pulau Pangkor,  I had this excruciating experience. I was so utterly lonely and so acutely aware of it. It was so incredibly painful, a piercing rawness that this night, it was as if the Universe held an enormous galactic mirror up to me. I thought I might burst into tears right there on the paradise beach where all the European holidayers where having dinner with their families watching the pink sunset. I never felt so odd and out of place before, even the monkeys were pointing their fingers at me. To slightly make up for it, I was blessed the next day with a free snorkeling trip to a nearby coral island, by a local, who gave me enough attention and was still a gentleman. Still,  I was recovering from the previous night, of being slammed by the accumulative past 5 years of being independent, being alone, all of it overwhelmed me like karmic avalanche.

So we headed back to the mainland to the other side of the peninsula to Kota Bharu. The difficulty of the travel, waiting for buses hours late, crowded buses w/o seats or AC, night buses w/o sleep, filled that space. Then the magic of traditional Malay culture a few days in Kota Bharu strengthened my spirit. Soon, I met a kindred spirit again, as a kind of blessing. The easy togetherness also threw off my equilibrium, I got used to it, so did Z. I realized I need other people to be my sledgehammer and break through my walls, the illusion of being this strong, independent, single mom.
 
Traveling solitary its like this dance of being alone for a while, which is fine, because its so temporary, then I meet up with lovely company and I certainly did in Malaysia. If that Malayisa/Singapore trip taught me anything, its there is this wide world outside of Tainan full of available, single men of quality (there were some nice Frenchmen along the way too I'll briefly mention).


Singapore Zoo



Universal studios, Singapore

In August, me and some Taiwanese friends went to Alishan. They organized everything. It was like a pilgrimage to this ancient cypress forest with 2000 year old trees, a gorgeous sunset, waking for sunrise, hiking in clouded tea terraces, great food, happy kids, coming home tired and happy.


In early September, for Moon Festival's 3 day weekend, Z and I took a weekend to Guanshan to see the blooming Daylillies in the East Rift Valley in Taiwan's East Coast. Later in September, I met up with an old friend from my Taipei days a decade ago and we went camping in a farm in Kenting. BBQ, more wine, great company, our kids, her great husband, great fun in finding this past friendship and picking up where we parted. I felt lucky. Then, recovering in the Pingtong hot springs, the original Japanese structure, hinting of October.

In October for 10/10 holiday, I took an extra day off and flew to Tokyo for a 4 day stint. Autumn was just beginning to breath her first breaths into this phenomenal city. Z and I didn’t want to come back to Taiwan and even now I’m considering moving to Tokyo in a year or two if I can wait. I know what neighborhood I’d like to live in more or less. There is so much to see, so much under the surface, calling out to me, “explore me, stay here.” The magical part is I had no desire to even go to Japan until like a month ago, and now I can’t get Japan out of my dreams. I simply liked looking at the faces. The people bent over backwards to help me, locals went out of their way to make me stay. Tokyo is this paradox of ancient medieval Endo with uber-modernism, the bustle of crowds on their way, belaying an inner gentleness. There is this gentleness and then you sense this hidden cruelness. I can’t put my finger on it, especially after only 4 days, but I’m hooked.

I’ve been to a lot of countries, exchanged in many courtesies ad currencies but only a handful of places sort of grabbed me, beckoned me to linger a while. After 2 years of working around Western Europe, Galway totally conquered me. I couldn’t leave, I grieved when I had no way to stay there permanently, legally. Guatemala, I was there all 90 days of my visa and mourned leaving. I’d probably be living in Kashmir and married to a Kashmiri if it was more stable. Now after living in Tainan 3 years, 5 years total in Taiwan, I feel that itch again. Ok I admit when we went to KL I exclaimed I could live in KL too (I could, Z could continue her Mandarin, and I could have my piece of Indian culture). So who knows?


Z’s stability, and continuing her Mandarin is paramount. I just feel like the poetic eagle, phoenix being reborn and itching to spread her wings. If that means growing in a new territory, moving, or staying in Tainan and having this inner journey, remains to be lived out.

Protesting the Protesters

I noticed there is this undercurrent of critical animosity against the Wall St protesters coming from the co called ”Free Thinkers.” Its good to question the arguments and facts, long may the truth have a voice and prevail. But I cant help but be disturbed. The tea party backlash is to be expected, but some of my colleagues/peers/friends who in their own way delegitimize the Wall St protesters or confuse the message, I cant help but feel disturbed. Amazing what shit rises to the top once the pot starts being stirred.

Going around Facebook were various wall posting being shared, one that said the picture of the protesters was highly doctored and falsely portraying the sheer number of protesters. The other was of a male protesters texting a suggestive Twit, with the caption being something akin to “corporate greed made it possible to Tweet your protest you stupid protester.” I liked it because its true to an extent and I shared it myself, but felt guilty that I was perpetrating the confusion of the protest movement’s message.

So I ask myself, why the backlash? And who are these “free thinkers”? Of my peers, they all happen to be male and white. I think they must be closet Republicans (elitists in their chrysalis morphing into their true nature, due to emerge ugly classist moths) or they on some level are being confronted with their own privilege and either freaking about it or are too coward to acknowledge their privilege and why their lives are still so shitty. That sounds too harsh, perhaps its how they deal with the let down of the so-called American Dream. There are a lot of great reading out there on the subject and I came across this article “Panic of the Plutocrats” on the plane back from Tokyo (sounds so cool to say just let me have this one) and thought it eloquently stated my thoughts exactly.

The most recent FB post (from another white male again) was in support of the 1%! He said somethine like, Quit bitching about the 1%! They went to work today. They didn't sit around in a park smoking refer, banging on drums, bitching about student loans that they themselves signed for, or defecating on police cars. I want to join the 1%!" Shocking. I didnt know how to respond but I couldnt let it go and for lack of words posted something about Vets in support of the protesters (he's ex-Marine).

Interesting times! Support Democracy and Curb Capitalism.