To go to Matt's Wedding or Not to Go

I wavered back and forth deciding if I should make the journey to LA for my youngest bro Matt’s wedding. I had a valid case not to go. The expense of 2 tickets (62,000NT as compared to last years 42,000 NT to Denver during Chinese NY—I waited til the last moment to buy). Taking time off work and the small paycheck, plus if I exceeded 5 days which I did I lost my bonus (not as big as Kid Castle, but the light at the end of the tunnel).


The biggest reason not to go was Id been down this road before. When I was in grad school in England, my bro Andy got married. I was just starting my dissertation, I used my student loan money (which I am still paying off) to fly from York to London and a direct flight from Heathrow to DIA. Then the next day w/my family and then betrothed on a flight to Vegas.

It just felt wrong. A Vegas wedding. Who goes to Vegas on purpose to get married? Andy. And of course at the over the top Bellagio, (think Oceans 11 to the power of 4 sequels). The Bellagio was gorgeous , my dress was gorgeous. My then betrothed and I argued most of the time. Andy the groom dissed his wife and guests by watching the NBA playoffs in some private room. His then wife was intoxicated before the ceremony began. I still cried when they exchanged vows, perhaps it was the only semblance of a meaningful moment in the whole experience, that or the jet lag. It was a fast, plastic ceremony. In and out, next couple, conveyer belt, lunch box feeling. The DJ thought we were Italians and kept making jokes about it, the food was bland and the beer and champagne were not free.

I vowed never again to fly over an ocean for a bro’s wedding (I have 4 brothers). Andy and Cristi divorced 2 years later due to Cristi’s alcoholism and Andy’s control issues (which were tied to keeping her drunk driving under control). The subsequent divorce was horrendous.

The karmic bonus for going home to Andy’s April wedding was I got pregnant. My then on and off betrothed of ten years and I took a familiar hike and found a nice place on the side of a foothill and thought we’re getting married anyways lets just stop using protection and see what happens. I didn’t expect it all to work that fast, I guess neither did he. After the deed was done, when we drove back down the mountain we both were quite sure about the enormity of what happened-- how special that we were aware of it. That we both just knew. The relationship pretty much fell apart from then on, but that’s another story.